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Happy fandom swap, rynne! [May. 2nd, 2006|07:08 pm]
The Fandom Swap Fiction Exchange



Happy fandom swap, rynne!

Title: And Your Little Dog Too
Author: danxsunday
Fandom: Harry Potter
Summary: Make sure you never go too far from home. You never know when a farmhouse might land on your head.
Pairings: Harry/Ginny
Rating: PG-13 for language, suggestive themes, and multiple references to cutting off the air supply to one nasty bitch.
Disclaimer: You don't own me. I'm not one of your little toys.
Warnings: none

And Your Little Dog Too

Dear Ginny-
Im fine, how are things there?


That has got to be the crappest letter ever written in the history of woeful letter writing. You are going to have to do better than that. Surely you can't have forgotten how to write? You know, it's that thing where you put quill to parchment and move your hand around in shapes that turn out to be meaningful when they form words and phrases? Sometimes punctuation is even involved (although apparently not when you attempt it). I am not going to tell you a sodding thing until I get at least three sentences.


Dear Ginny-
Yeah I guess that was a fairly craptastic letter. Just not used to talking that much. How long have I been gone now? Five months I suppose it is. Easy to lose track of time now that it feels like there is so much of it. All spreading out and endless like in a way I never expected. Wow that is a bit profound for this hour of the morning. It's around 7 am and you can already feel the heat in the air.

Is this enough sentences?


Just barely.


Dear Ginny-
So how is everyone?


Dad's enthusiastic about the new "elecktrickery" as he calls it. Ron and I are still studying of course, you should hear the endless wailing and gnashing of teeth emitting from Ron every hour. He doesn't see why he should have to continue studying when the twins didn't. Especially considering now that we are "home schooled." It makes us sound like some inbreds from America. Hermione is finishing up via correspondence too. She comes down to the Burrow once every few weeks. I try to stay with Fred and George then. No one likes young love so up close.

I guess really, everything has changed.


Dear Ginny,
I can almost feel your Dad's excitement from here. I got a letter from Hermione the other week, 7 full pages, both sides, of magical theory and ideas. I didn't understand half of it.
Not exactly scholar of the year material was I? I miss the Burrow.


I hope you can't feel Dad's "excitement" from here, because that would be gross.

Glad to see you have your priorities sorted then.


Dear Ginny,
Sorry. Please don't be cross.


I can be cross at whoever I feel like, thanks very much. I am stuck at home with a cranky brother and a grieving mother. Dad barely comes out of his shed. I rarely get to see anybody else. You have pissed off into the sunset. If you expect me to be Mary bloody sunshine you can get stuffed.


Dear Ginny,


And you can shove your "sorries" up your arse as well. I am sick to death of hearing you say it Harry.


P.S - And for Merlin's sake, you are half a muggle, use IM or email or something to contact me. You are killing my owls. redtemper001@quidditch.uk.co

To: Lovely and Amazing Redhead <redtemper001@quidditch.uk.co>
From: Harry Potter <hjpgit@superseeker.uk.net>
Date: 12-September-1998 11:30
Subject: testing, testing

Is that you Ginny?
Chasers may get all the action, but Seekers score where it counts.

To: Harry Potter <hjpgit@superseeker.uk.net>
From: Chasers Do It Better <redtemper001@quidditch.uk.co>
Date: 12-September-1998 13:25
Subject: clearly a bird friend

No, it is the sugarplum princess. Of course it's me. Now see? Isn't this more civilised? And just think, much kinder to the owls. Ron says hey.
Seekers win games, but Chasers score where it counts.

To: Sugar Plum Princess <redtemper001@quidditch.uk.co>
From: Harry Potter <hjpgit@superseeker.uk.net>
Date: 12-September-1998 13:33
Subject: re: clearly a bird friend (is that meant as an insult?)

Say hi back for me. I have been fairly crap on the letter writing front. I would say sorry again but i suspect you would be a little unhappy with that ;)
Give your friends the gift of Superseeker for less that one sickle a minute!

To: Master P <hjpgit@superseeker.uk.net>
From: Ginny pwns you <redtemper001@quidditch.uk.co>
Date: 12-September-1998 13:59
Subject: Only if I'm really crap at insults

Correct. Good to see you can be taught ;) I say we should banish the "s" word from all further conversations. That is, if you want further conversations. I don't know how much time this takes from your international man of mystery thing you've got going on. Just what the hell are you doing?

And also, if possible, your grammar and punctuation usage are even worse via e-mail. If you even try to use net speak on me I will start stabbing things.
Why e-mail when you can chat? Get QuiddIMS now!

To: Gingerbread rules the skool <redtemper001@quidditch.uk.co>
From: Harry can pwn too <hjpgit@superseeker.uk.net>
Date: 12-September-1998 14:15
Subject: that can't possibly be innocuous, it sounds dirty

Right now? Sitting in an internet cafe watching the rain come down outside, drinking possibly the nastiest cup of tea I have ever had.

PS – what is pwn? Is that even a real word?
Quidditch is for the people. Seeking is for gods.

To: Harry can pwn too <hjpgit@superseeker.uk.net>
From: Not in the Mood <redtemper001@quidditch.uk.co>
Date: 12-September-1998 14:47
Subject: you're the dirty one, gutter mind

That is not what I asked and you know it

PS – no one knows, we just say it like we're cool to make everyone else feel silly for not knowing
Chasers rule. Seekers DROOL.

To: Harry can pwn too <hjpgit@superseeker.uk.net>
From: Shotgun shuts his cakehole <redtemper001@quidditch.uk.co>
Date: 12-September-1998 14:48
Subject: speaking of gutters

Check this out: http://www.jraunlimited.com/images/galleries/Photoshoots/AlisonDyer/Photoshoot-AlisonDyer-02.jpg
Weezly Wizard Weezes: for all your pranking needs. Now with a complete adult line! Pumpkin pasties! Beer goggles! And much more!

To: Shotgun shuts his cakehole <redtemper001@quidditch.uk.co>
From: Word to your mother <hjpgit@superseeker.uk.net>
Date: 12-September-1998 14:52
Subject: re: speaking of gutters

??? What's that supposed to be??
Magical Skower's Mess Remover: for even the toughest stains!

To: Word to Your Mother <hjpgit@superseeker.uk.net>
From: Smokin' hot <redtemper001@quidditch.uk.co>
Date: 12-September-1998 14:54
Subject: re: re: speaking of gutters

Who cares, he's hot, right?
The Leaky Cauldron: more than just a gateway! We have booze too!

To: Smokin' Hot <redtemper001@quidditch.uk.co>
From: Word to your mother <hjpgit@superseeker.uk.net>
Date: 12-September-1998 14:57
Subject: re: re: speaking of gutters

There's no right way to answer this question, is there?
2 Legit. 2 legit 2 quit.

To: Not in the Mood <redtemper001@quidditch.uk.co>
From: The Boy Who Was Definitely Not that Forbidden S Word <hjpgit@superseeker.uk.net>
Date: 12-September-1998 15:19
Subject: you're the one with the whip

I haven't really been doing anything. Not really. Just wondering. Looking I guess.
Come to Bourgin and Bourke's for all your antiquiary needs! Now with extra evil!

To: The P Master <hjpgit@superseeker.uk.net>
From: Don't Make Me Choke A Bitch <redtemper001@quidditch.uk.co>
Date: 12-September-1998 15:23
Subject: it's a riding crop! For um, taming hippogriffs

FOR FIVE MONTHS! Well Dorothy, did it ever occur to you that maybe, just maybe, you are looking in the wrong spots? And what the hell are you looking for anyway??

Well, why don't you just let me know when you find it?
Medusa, Maeve, and Marjory: A Guide to Avoiding Wicked Witches and Keeping Your Heart Intact, on sale NOW!

To: SRSLY Gonna Choke A Bitch <redtemper001@quidditch.uk.co>
From: Pathetic Git <hjpgit@superseeker.uk.net>
Date: 12-September-1998 15:49
Subject: ginny, you don't even HAVE a hippogriff

Ginny please don't be like that
Give your friends the gift of superseeker! It fits in any box!

To: SRSLY Gonna Choke A Bitch <redtemper001@quidditch.uk.co>
From: Really Pathetic Wanker <hjpgit@superseeker.uk.net>
Date: 12-September-1998 16:43
Subject: hello?

Carry on my wayward son! There'll be peace when you are done!

To: Busy Chokin' A Bitch <redtemper001@quidditch.uk.co>
From: Harry the Bitch <hjpgit@superseeker.uk.net>
Date: 12-September-1998 16:53
Subject: hellooooooo?

Ginny please talk to me.
Good luck exploring the infinite abyss!

To: Busy Chokin' A Bitch <redtemper001@quidditch.uk.co>
From: Harry the Bitch <hjpgit@superseeker.uk.net>
Date: 12-September-1998 17:01
Subject: are you there god, it's me, Harry

Ginny please?
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard! Florean Fortescue presents the mondo choco strawberry blast!

To: Pathetic Little Bitch <hjpgit@superseeker.uk.net>
From: The Bitchmaster <redtemper001@quidditch.uk.co>
Date: 12-September-1998 17:18
Subject: (*&^&%$&*%(

You have made me so sodding cross Harry Potter. I have a life, you know? I need to get on with it. I need to stop worrying about where you are and what you're doing and whether or not you're going to get yourself hurt because you're a bloody idiot when I'm not around. I need to stop thinking about whether you are thinking about me. About whether you are thinking about anything at all. You can go on your big voyage of self discovery or go find your own private Idaho or whatever the fuck you are calling it this week. You want to work out all the stuff in your head, right? And then you will come back once you have figured it all out. Well guess what? No one ever figures it out. You are just in it. In it right now, and you make the best of it and fuck up and cry and have fun and all those other messy human things.

I won't cry or make declarations or deliver ultimatums. You know me, Harry. You know how I feel. You knew what I wanted.

Goodbye and good luck Harry.
Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Malfoy's lovely ladies, available nights, weekends, and for obscene amounts of money.

He arrived red faced and panting at 2:30 p.m. on a sunny Tuesday afternoon. "She's gone..."said Arthur. But in typical Harry fashion he didn't dally to hear exactly where she was. Off he took, searching train stations and bus routes at breakneck speed, swallowing down the rising panic that this time, really this time, he was finally out of luck.

At 6:06 p.m. he sat in the gutter on the muggle side of the Leaky reminded of the fact that in lots of movies the hero doesn't always get the girl. There was Star Wars, for one, and okay, so the girl was actually the hero's sister and that would've been pretty sick had it panned out, but still. No girl for Luke. He always seemed a bit light in the loafers for girls anyway, though, so Star Wars might not count. Wolverine doesn't really get the girl, or at least not the one he wants, and he's definitely not a shirt lifter, but then again the man is half-wolf so—

A flash of red and a kick to his shins startled him out of his stupor. Ginny, glaring down at him, hands on her hips with that expression on her face, the one that said, How do I even put up with these fuckwits? with an eye roll just to prove her point.

"You duffer....I had only gone to the shops."

From: siyui
2006-05-03 09:00 am (UTC)


Cute. =D
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[User Picture]From: danxsunday
2006-05-08 03:47 am (UTC)

Re: =)

thank you. It is so sweet it nearly makes my teeth hurt
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[User Picture]From: rynne
2006-05-04 05:29 am (UTC)
This was really cute and nicely characterized. Thank you! :)
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[User Picture]From: danxsunday
2006-05-08 03:47 am (UTC)
thank you , I hope it wasn't too sappy
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[User Picture]From: meredyth_13
2006-05-08 04:35 am (UTC)
OMG! I was torn between admiration of the way you put this together, and giggling myself silly over all the very clever little touches.

Honey - I never thought I'd see you write Ginny/Harry (and spankings may be involved at some point... just saying) but this is ridiculously endearing.

So lovely to see you writing again - even if I will be spitting up fluff balls for a week. Lovely job!
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: danxsunday
2006-05-08 05:11 am (UTC)
This is sooo sweet it makes my teeth ache. But it was a pinch hit and you get what you get and try to make the best of it
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[User Picture]From: meredyth_13
2006-05-08 05:35 am (UTC)
You have dental coverage, right? *flashes very tough teeth*

Don't knock it so hard, hon. You pinch hit with flair, and a teaspoon of nutrasweet.
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[User Picture]From: danxsunday
2006-05-08 05:36 am (UTC)
Thank you sweetheart. Maybe I will give this writing lark a bit more of a go
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[User Picture]From: meredyth_13
2006-05-08 05:37 am (UTC)
Happy news for my Dan starved little heart.
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[User Picture]From: djin7
2006-05-08 05:31 am (UTC)
ahahahah! Lovely. Love those correspondences. So MALE-FEMALE! Perfect HET! AHAH! Awesome. And the bit where he comes running home? Awesome. *happy sigh*

Nice work, Dan!
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: danxsunday
2006-05-08 05:34 am (UTC)
aww thank you honey. This was way out f my usual comfort zone but I think it worked ok. Andrea helped absolutley heaps
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[User Picture]From: faerie_mistress
2006-05-08 05:41 am (UTC)
Saccharine, definately. But I'm a sugar-addict, so that's not always a bad thing ;) and the comedy takes the edge off the sweetness, I giggled my way through the entire thing. And had to keep going back to get all the little jokes you'd included in the email tags too. Also, the ending was FANTASTIC. Am I rambling yet? I think I am. Time to stop.

*sticks a gold star on your forehead*
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[User Picture]From: danxsunday
2006-05-08 11:08 pm (UTC)
Aww thanks . I had a huge help from phaballa
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[User Picture]From: honilee
2006-05-08 10:36 pm (UTC)
I loved all the little details such as their names, the subject titles, and the advertisements! Must've taken forever to come up with all that stuff!
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[User Picture]From: danxsunday
2006-05-08 11:09 pm (UTC)
Thanks for reading. It was phaballa who came up with all the really clever stuff
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[User Picture]From: phaballa
2006-05-08 11:13 pm (UTC)
Oh hush.
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[User Picture]From: luredbyvenus
2006-05-09 10:36 pm (UTC)
It was very cute. Cotton candy fluffy goodness, which normally makes me gag, but yours made me giggle.

Subject: are you there god, it's me, Harry

This had me laughing out loud as I imagined Harry having read Judy Blume's guide to the horrors of being a preteen girl, and liking it enough to quote it.

My 6 yo homeschooler wrote some HP fanfic today, complete with illustrations. Poor little inbred American, I don't know how she managed. ;)
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: danxsunday
2006-05-10 11:06 pm (UTC)
Hahah glad you liked. I have never written anything like this in my life so it was quite the experience.
Very cute for the little ones fanfic too ;)
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